Today is the day for writing a honest post about a few things. Currently in life I am in a position where I feel a bit torn and maybe a bit overwhelmed at times. Here is where I am at. I work at a wonderful job as a server at a local family restaurant which I adore. They treat me as part of their family and that means the world to me. So I can count that out as any source of confusion in my life.
I am by nature a very artistic and creative person, but in that aspect I think that I can appear flip floppy with my hobbies and other investments of time. For the last 10 years I have been making cakes and confections, hand painted fancy works of edible art that I take pride in and I was convinced I was destined to become a professional baker at. I have tried and failed a few times at my own go at expanding, and it quickly becomes overwhelming, taking an enormous hit to my self esteem and then it becomes too much for me and worsens my anxiety. So lately I have felt myself cringe at the thought of one more order.Is this it for me? Am I done? I don’t really know for now it is going on the back burner in my life.I can tell you that it pains me to even write all this, I mean I feel like I am a failure.
I started Green Grass Grove as a blog for myself to vent, to educate and to grow personally. I think that it has changed me. Dealing with my husbands chemical sensitivities disorder has taken a lot out of me and personally, I want to help him become strong and healthy again. I have been schooling to become a certified nutritionist and now I am pursuing other avenues to learn to create my own line of 100% Natural, unscented products including soaps, toiletries and cleaning products. As always in my creative nature I want to share my experience and craft with others and when I am there I will do so proudly.
My best friend who is always a amazing source of encouragement and advice is my rock. She is so assuring of my decisions and always has sound ideas on how I should approach things. She commented last evening about how people are generally so wrapped up in themselves that they are often to busy to even notice thing things that you find to be a mountainous source of anxiety. I thought for awhile last night and she is completely right.
Ultimately the choice is mine and for now this is the way I am headed. This is what makes me happy and want to be excited about and I think that what I am going to focus my energy on. Its never about getting rich with me, its about expanding my horizons and learning.No explanations needed to anyone. I only have to answer to myself and that’s what I am going to do.
I value and input and comments on this post. Thank you :o)